Sun. Jul 7th, 2024
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HeroQuest – The day of the Channel 84 field trip had finally arrived. I put on my red hat, blue coat and little red wellington boots and made my way over to collect Tom and our friend Mark. Our destination, The Boot Inn, Soulbury, our reason; to join 3 Dads 1 Pod Co-host Dan for some good old fashioned HeroQuest!

Tuesday night is the new Friday night
Tuesday night is the new Friday night

If you aren’t familiar, HeroQuest is a table top, Dungeons and Dragons style adventure game. Traditionally, one player takes the role of gamesmaster, wonderfully named Zargon (Morcar for the American version). Whilst the other, up to 4, players play as the adventurers.

Zargons role as gamesmaster is to control the narrative of the session via either a premade adventure or one they’ve made themselves. This is done using the premade enemy character sheets, and physically placing dungeon items on the board. This is anything from locked doors, chests, tables and also traps. Players are then told of their objective, in our case, find and kill a particular badguy, then escape to the stairwell to continue your journey another day. Players can collect gold throughout their adventure, to then use at the end to buy items for next time. However, were you to die, you’d lose all your gold and next time you start again from 0.

Gotta check those rules!
Gotta check those rules!

Right now that that’s out of the way. Bring fourth Zargon ‘I’ve yet to read the instructions’ the Merciless (Rob) and our budding adventurers made up of the local Inns idiots. 

Cyril the Wizard played by Tom,

Moukey Mice the Barbarian played by Mark,

And ofcourse Themy McThem Face the Dwarf, played by Dan …

You can see where this is going.

After a few brief interludes whilst Zargon checked, double checked and triple checked the rules. We were off. Taking turns starting clockwise from the gamesmaster, players get 2 opportunities to act. They can Move and they can take Action. Move is as it implies, you roll 2 dice and you move. Actions however can be searching objects, attacking enemies and using spells. 

The Three Muppeteers make their way around the dungeon reasonably slowly at first. And pretty swiftly dispatch their first enemy. It’s at this point Tom thinks that his Wizard is actually, a bit shit. All they have is a knife and bugger all health. It’s only when they come across, what they thought would be easy, but in reality the most op character in HeroQuest, the Goblin NPC. Which kicks all their arses due to all their god awful attack and defence rolls, that Zargon over here (hello!!) Realises Tom should have been allowed to choose some spells at the start of the game… Whoops! Rewind!

Goblins are the best
Goblins are the best

Spells blast, goblin dead, Tom starts wiping the floor with everyone… I’ve created a monster…

This is all short lived however as they literally search every single room in the dungeon, use all their spells and items and prepare for a big fight with what they thought was the boss, to find that this Mummy wasn’t the boss. Zargon had egged them on in the wrong direction, naughty Zargon. And now the only room they had left, slap bang in the middle of the dungeon, must be the one with the boss, and none of them had any abilities or health to take it on…. Oops!

When they finally reach the last room in the dungeon mistakes are made. And mistakes that are all to familiar if you have ever played a game with our friend mark. I think that Leeroy Jenkins was actually based on him and not the World of Warcraft video. Straight in, immediately surrounded and, essentially, he’s evaporated.

What the remaining two guys do next was actually quite a good one. In order to win. You have to finish the main objective, then all remaining players get back to the stairs. Note that point…. Remaining players… in a moment of utter bravery and commitment to the team, Cyril legs it to the stairs. Leaving Themy McThem Face to finish off the final boss. After a couple of turns of battle and a mini game of chase through the dungeon corridors, Themy McThem Face takes his final blow to the boss, only to find himself skewered in the back by a remaining Orc.

Our valiant and brave wizard, now the only player left, gets a great last roll to make it to the stairs. Victory!

Our brave adventurers
Our brave adventurers

What a blast. Even though technically I lost, it was really good fun hearing the shout of triumph as our brave wizard fled the dungeon with his robes between his little chicken legs…. 

But jokes on them, now he has gold for the next round!

Find more ‘Gaming’ posts here.

You can pick up more boardgames at Sidequest TGC.

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By Rob

When not dodging Romulan disruptors or negotiating peace treaties with Tribbles, you’ll find him spending time with his family, walking his dogs, placating to the every need of his cat overlords, or writing nonsense Star Trek sketches. When approached by long time friend Tom to better aim his creative energies, he jumped at the chance.

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